I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
