I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
