so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're not piercing ourselves today.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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