I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
