you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
