i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
