Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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