I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
