You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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