Welp...herpes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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