I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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