I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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