hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
