"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
