I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
