there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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