Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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