can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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