If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
