I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
