Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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