I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
