so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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