I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
