we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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