yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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