Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
