your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
