my sisters under your porch take her home
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
