"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
