We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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