I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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