This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
