i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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