i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sobbing to NWA
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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