Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
