yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
should my penis look like a turkey
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
