next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
