her vagine was all disorganized.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
