do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
