Capitaan dildo arrescate!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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