Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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