I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
