I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
