I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
