you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
