Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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