Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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