There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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