bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
