I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
