Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
