Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
