Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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