I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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