you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
